Tio Javier

Price: 2.3

Atmosphere: 7.7

Taste: 5.2

Overall: 5.1

(Note: The Tacos appear larger  in the photo than in real life)

Michaela’s Review:

I’ve been told I’ve been a little sassy in these reviews and some concerned coworkers fear that I may be banned from some of the restaurants to which I am offering negative reviews. To those people, I would say honesty is policy mis amigos, but out of respect for your views, I’ll start with the positives. Positive #1: Great atmosphere. Got that dim lighting, good bar space, ample seating. Nice patio out front for when we aren’t in a polar vortex and, rumor has it, there is a roof top bar section. BIG if true. They have laid the ground work for a solid Mexican restaurant that can appeal to the families with screaming children that just want a dadgum cheese quesadilla, as well as my fellow millennials out here on the streets of DC just trying to grab a happy hour drink that won’t add to our crippling dept. Which brings me to Positive #2: They have a happy hour menu. That’s cool and all. I got a margarita and a corona for $5 and $3 respectively so pretty solid.

Alright. Here we go. Throwing it down. Positive Polly is now exiting the vicinity. Time for the real review. The tacos were expensive as hell for being the size of one of those silver dollar pancakes you find at iHOP. I’m talking minuscule. To quote Zoolander (kind of) “What is this?! A [Taco] for ants?!” My carnitas taco had 2 little strips of carnitas. The chicken taco had maybe 7 not-even-bite-sized pieces of chicken. It was sad. And regularly these tacos are $4-$5 a piece ($3 on happy hour, but that’s still too much IMO)! With no sides and chips and salsa costing extra ($2, but still), I felt jipped. The two bites tasted decent, but the price left a bad taste in my mouth that I couldn’t get over. Not only did my 2 mini taco nibblers set me back $8, but the service was atrocious. We ordered a second beer and it took 45 min to get them, even after reminding one of the three dudes working on a busy Friday night that we ordered additional coronas. Everyone was waiting around. It was a mess. To be honest, we need a taco-slump buster and quick. Lo siento Javier.

Kevin’s Review:

Come for the Tacos, Stay for the Nachos, Leave Because of the Service

Located at what was formerly one of my favorite HH spots, Pacifico Cantina, Tio Javier has a very similar vibe. The vibe you get from walking in is perfect for that post work margarita, chips, and tacos. It has the half-dimmed lighting but colorful walls/theme, not too loud but presence of Latin music that isn’t overwhelming the large crowd of government workers celebrating the end of the shutdown. We set up shop right at the bar, which we were hoping would be able to speed up the service. I ordered a Corona with a chorizo and chicken taco off of their happy hour menu with a side of nachos. Now while the tacos and beer came out quickly, I was left stunned by how small the tacos were. Merely a smidge wider than a hockey puck, my tacos looked more like a small appetizer sample than a taco. Also, I am not a picky eater but I do not like onions one bit and had asked the bartender to not have onions on the tacos. Sadly, the hockey puck tacos came covered in onions. Nevertheless, I figured maybe these tacos would be two bite pieces of greatness but again the tacos fell short. What little flavor was there fell through the tacos because the corn tortilla had not been double wrapped and the moisture had destroyed the poor thing. Thankfully the Mic-suggested nachos turned out to be a cheesy-great savior to the meal. We ordered another round of cervezas and chips to fill our stomachs but after 20 minutes we realized that wasn’t happening. The bar had gotten a little busier and the bar staff lacked speed and organization when it came to helping out customers at the bar and at tables. After asking a few more times we finally got our drinks and chips but after we paid we were then told that the second round of drinks hadn’t been added to the bill so we could either just leave a large tip to cover it or get a new bill. To be continued on if we get charged twice for our meal. Purely on their happy hour tacos and service, I would not recommend Tio Javier. Nachos though, sure!

Location:
Barracks Row
514 8th Street SE
Washington, DC 20003

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